"I don't usually like metal, but that was right good!"
"Quirky S alert."
Since starting college, I'd always had these fantasies about playing in my college's canteen. I walk for about twenty minutes every morning from my bus stop to college, and often I listen to music. To make time seemingly go quicker, I imagine myself playing the current song in the canteen at dinner time, where there are about 200 college students socialising. I don't just imagine playing the guitar, I imagine being every band member. It gets me really excited when it's an angry song, and I imagine my teachers watching me and thinking:
"Oh. Where did I go wrong?"
Doing this makes me walk twice as fast as normal due to the strange excitement I get. I love performing so it's natural I have fantasies about performing, right?
Yes I've played at my college before with my old group, but this time, at last, we were offered to play the canteen at dinner, when it's busiest.
All I could think was: "I finally get to show everyone who I am and what I do."
I am notoriously known at college as "that blonde weirdo" or "the Frisbee guy". Why? Well I suppose I can take some time out to tell you. (Read in a hushed, darkened and dramatic voice).
***
The Dreamer
It was one winter's lunch hour at the college of Thomas Rotherham. Clouds settled over the castle, as students rushed in from the rain. The students mourned, despaired, at the thought of lessons that were to commence in just twenty-five minutes' time.
Suddenly, an unknown student pulls out what I can only describe as hope and freedom.
A Frisbee emerges into the busy canteen, full of students socialising and eating their packed lunches or their own knees. The Frisbee is made out that tent-like canvas material, and so hurt nothing it struck.
Each time it was caught, a champion was born, celebrated in the Halls of Fame. The whole room erupted with cheers, applause and laughter.
But there stood, in a tiny group, a dreamer. A blonde-haired, leather coat wearing, desperate boy, in his last day of childhood, desperate for the fame and the glory that this Frisbee could bring.
O, didst he dream the dream that he would catcheth such obstacle that stoodeth between himself and glory!
As the lunch hour neared its iminent end, the young dreamer lowered his face to the ground, wondering why life must be so difficult.
But!
A spark of hope, the Frisbee flies as if in slow motion towards the open, desperate hand of the dreamer, his eyes lit with the vision of fame, his lips moist at the slight taste of glory!
It was not to be. Another male had reached over and grabbed it, snatched glory from the dreamer's grasp. Upset, he was.
On the verge of giving up, his lover grabs his arm and yanks him out of the canteen to walk the dreary path to lesson - but to the dreamer, it was but a path of defeat.
However...
Just as his leg had crossed the doorway, a loud dissatisfaction occurreth.
"Booooo!" chanted the peasants of the canteen!
"Unrighteous fiend!" cried others.
The dreamer turned his head, his brow sweating, his eyes curious. What was it that was occurring?
Indeed, a fiendish man in the uniform of "Ye Caretaker" at the college of Thomas Rotherham descendeth through the canteen towards the doorway in which the dreamer stood. In his grasp was the Frisbee. It brought him not glory but hatred. One Frisbee to rule them all! And this monster was using it for evil!
The dreamer's eyes lit up with opportunity.
He must indeed save the land! Restore morality! Grasp glory at last!
The dreamer, flicking the hair out of his eyes, swipes the Frisbee from the fiend's hands and launches through the canteen, bearing the Frisbee above his head, the whole room erupting with cheers and applause to this strange boy, this dreamer.
This boy was to reach adulthood on the morrow, but felt a sense of manhood consume his innocence, he felt something grow within him that was not his Twat Tunneler.
A boy so young reached his dreams at last.
The End.
***
But then I was taken to the principal's office and got called "pathetic" for finding a Frisbee fun. I guess he just wants me to act my age, and find drugs fun instead.
So, I enjoyed the Frisbee fame for a while, but then finally realised I wanted everyone to know I was in a metal band, and so I took the first opportunity I could to allow my band to play in the canteen.
The Performing Arts students have to put on an event as part of their coursework, and one group decided to host a "battle of the bands" in the canteen. I of course said Blackened Eyes would love to do it.
Another band was formed by a few students to compete against us.
I was really looking forward to it. Finally, a chance to show off what I do, what I CAN do, and to show off my band.
Problem One.
I told my band of course what was to happen, telling them that we were playing a lunchtime gig in my college's canteen.
However, our drummer thought it was in the evening, and so had to work.
All hope of my dream finally coming true of playing the canteen seemed to be draining away rapidly, until the college sound technician who has been recording Blackened Eyes' EP offered to drum two tracks for us that he knew due to all the mixing.
I was definitely up for this as not only did I want to play the canteen, but it wouldn't have been fair on the performing arts students who's grades partly depended on this event.
So finally it was sorted. He learned the tracks, and we practiced with him the day before. Nothing else could stop me from achieving this now!
Problem Two.
Of course something could stop me. It's life.
Dave at band practice that night said he had a solicitor's appointment the following morning meaning he couldn't make it to my college. So that left me and Callum, the bassist.
I was furious, of course, that I had to let down the students again. I tried intensely to learn the words and to play guitar at the same time to the fast song "Scorn", to attempt at front-manning the event myself, however, it was extremely difficult, and the pressure was breaking me, so I begged Dave to move the appointment.
He did!
***
I attended my two lessons that morning before going to set up in the area we were to play in the canteen.
I was really excited. We were getting strange looks from the few people walking through the canteen as we walked around with guitars, tuning up etc. The other band were to play first as Dave was still not yet here, and the other band were soundchecked anyway.
Dave arrived and I helped him carry his equipment in.
Lunchtime.
The room was packed, which was surprising for a Wednesday - where most people including myself can leave after dinner due to not having afternoon lessons, but yet the room was full, with at least 200 people.
The first band, Lost and Found, began their two song set. They played two Arctic Monkeys covers, and did quite a good job of it, the crowd were clearly enjoying it and singing along.
I was getting fairly nervous. College seemed too innocent to be raped by our music, and the students all seem to be dressed in fashion.
The band finished, and now was our time to run on, set up, and play.
Problem Three.
We were all ready to go, when suddenly my guitar sounds really weak, as though the volume is turned down almost fully on my guitar. The only way it sounds powerful and metal again is when I press down on the volume knob, which I obviously couldn't do all the way through the two songs!
Dave, however, saved me by just flicking the pickup switch on my guitar, which made my tone a bit too fat for my liking but at least it didn't sound like a squirrel chewing on a sodden chestnut.
***
We kicked off with Days of Terror.
Just as we started, the college Principal walked into the canteen. This song is practically about Islam, more specifically the extremists and terrorist Muslims. Our college contains quite a few Muslims and I was scared the Principal would hear me shout some of the lyrics to the song and kick me out of college.
Until I realised:
1. Freedom of speech.
2. It's metal, who hears the words clearly anyway?
I looked up after the song had finished, an awkward two second silence fell upon the canteen.
Suddenly, the room erupted with cheers, and it seemed busier than it was when we first got on stage to perform! Wow!
I asked everyone how they were. When they cheered, I said:
"You're lying, because you're still at college."
Dave stepped to the microphone and said:
"This one's about being fucked over, who's ever been fucked over?"
Everyone cheered, it was great.
We thrashed through Scorn and then I finished up by shredding and the event was over.
It went by a crowd vote, and apparently it was close which is great. Of course the other band won, but I'm just proud that a Thrash Metal band came close to Indie music in a college. We had people coming up to us saying:
"I don't usually like metal but that was right good!"
Someone wrote down "Black Guys" as our band name when voting, which we found highly amusing.
I even managed to squeeze the line "Fuck this place up!" (Robb Flynn rip off, I know), during our set. I was just disappointed I didn't have the chance to introduce a song as "This song is about getting good grades and a good night's sleep!"
Overall it was a really interesting day and I thoroughly enjoyed it.
Thanks for reading,
Take care,
ARK Walton.
www.facebook.com/blackenedeyesofficial
www.facebook.com/ARKWalton
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